Grace | Josh

A really important, perhaps the most important, idea for any follower of Jesus to grasp is this idea of "grace."

Incidentally, the church that introduced me to Jesus way back in 1997 is celebrating its 25th anniversary this summer. Grace EPC in Lawrence, KS. They're almost as old as the Vineyard Movement!

See, at the heart of the Gospel--AKA the "good news"  or message of Jesus is this idea of grace. God loves us in spite of our sin. When we deserve death we get abundant, eternal life. When we deserve to be abandoned, God comes close and says, "I love you." When we hurt God by hurting people we are again and again forgiven and entrusted with the power and responsibility of the ongoing ministry of Jesus.

 you were dead in the trespasses and sins ² in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— ³ among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. ⁴ But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, ⁵ even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— ⁶ and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, ⁷ so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. ⁸ For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, ⁹ not a result of works, so that no one may boast. ¹⁰ For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.--Ephesians 2:1-10

Paul then goes on to talk about racial reconciliation. So, the grace of God gives us access to resurrection from death, the love of God, and the power to do the things God wants to do through us--things like healing, peace-making, justice for the oppressed, helping people leave their various paths of death for the Way of everlasting life. It's not just something that affects us after we die but changes the way we live now as we begin to experience more and more of the end of time in our present existence. We don't only get the Father's stamp of approval for entry into heaven, but we get the Gift and the gifts of the Holy Spirit as a down-payment of our unearned reward at the end of our lives. 

A lot of problems creep into the church and then out of the church, much to the consternation of God and everyone else, when we begin to think of our relationship with God as something we've earned or something we deserve. If we have any illusion of entitlement to the love of God by any means other than the cross of Christ, then we aren't saved, we're just practicing paganism while using Christian language. God's love & power can NOT be earned. They can only be given. They are gifts.

This is true no matter what the particular expression of love or power happens to be--whether that be physical or emotional healing, the transformation of a society, the experience of a single individual learning how much God loves her, deliverance from evil spirits--whatever. All the good things we experience in life--even life itself--are gifts from a good God that we don't earn. This is important to understand, because as we follow Jesus we will be expected to become like Him--giving, sacrificing, and forgiving towards people. That we get to become transformed in this way is another gift, but if we think of the things God gives us as things we own by our own hard work, we will miss this gift of transformation and all the other ones we didn't earn as we lose them to our own ungratefulness. It's hard to enjoy a gift as a gift when you think you've bought it for yourself. But if we get to enjoy something precious we didn't earn even for a short while, we can be thankful for it and enjoy it for the time it's present and not feel robbed when it's gone. In the end, even our very lives will be this way. 

When we live in the truth of God's grace it's easier to be grateful, and therefore joyful about our situation in life. It's also easier to give what we have received away to people in our lives who haven't earned our love or forgiveness, and God uses that kind of stuff to transform people. Grace is the way that God blesses us and the way He calls us to be a blessing to everyone we meet. 

Something to think about the next time you drive in a city.

Prayer Sunday - Taking Big Risks | Kara

This week, we've both had the opportunity to see Robby Dawkins speak. Robby is a Vineyard Pastor in Chicagoland who sees a lot of super-natural things happen, because he prays a lot for super-natural things to happen (think: people getting healed).
Josh and I both love the Vineyard as a movement, because while the Vineyard believes that super-natural things take place in present times, the Vineyard also focuses on being "naturally super-natural." There is a value placed on "dialing-down the hype" - we want to be available to see God do incredible things, but we also really want to guard against manufacturing a bunch of hype (it can damaging when you walk away from a prayer meeting thinking, "Did something actually just happen? Or was I just responding to the enthusiasm and peer pressure of the group to say that something happened?").

We want to plant a church that's not afraid to ask God to do amazing things. We want to be well-trained and naturally-supernatural, and we want to take big risks by praying for strangers. In the Vineyard, we often say, "Faith is spelled R-I-S-K."

Join us in praying this Psalm and asking God to empower us as leaders, to empower our team and our church in taking risks and really participating with God as He brings His Kingdom into our present:

Psalm 91

¹ Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty^.
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

³ Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.
⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
⁵ You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday.
⁷ A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you.
⁸ You will only observe with your eyes
    and see the punishment of the wicked.

⁹ If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
    and you make the Most High your dwelling,
¹⁰ no harm will overtake you,
    no disaster will come near your tent.
¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
¹² they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
¹³ You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

¹⁴ “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
¹⁵ He will call on me, and I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will deliver him and honor him.
¹⁶ With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.”

Please also pray for God to help us gather a team of people who can help get this church on its feet, and for a place to meet on Sunday mornings. (We're not really close to that yet, but it's never too early to ask for the perfect spot!)

Being Known | Josh

Some of you will be appalled by what I am about to confess.

Thursday I worked a catering event in which Patti Smith (godmother of punk) received the Catherine Hepburn Medal for awesome women who do stuff. I stood about 5 feet away from her as I served "Bryn Mawr-tinis" and collected empty glasses from people, and I had absolutely no idea who she was. (All the punk rock enthusiasts just decided to not become a part of the church plant. Before you write me off you should know that as a teenager I stage dove at an MXPX concert "before they sold out.") It was kind of funny to me how very NOT-punk rock this whole event was. I guess the guests were slightly unruly by taking their drinks into the auditorium with them for the awards ceremony in between cocktail hour and dessert hour.

Also, earlier that day, I drove out to Mechanicsburg, PA with a really cool dude to hear Robby Dawkins talk about how to pray for the sick and speak God's words to people so they can know how real God is and how much God loves them. My brain is still a little bit overloaded from the experience of students at the Global School of Supernatural Ministry praying for me and sharing things that they thought God was saying to them for me, and all the things that Robby said. I was really encouraged by what they had to say, and I have to say I was impressed with how accurately it applied to my own internal situation, of how real God is, how He loves and knows me, and tells me just what I need to hear. For instance, Robby said, "To doubt your ability to pray for the sick and see God heal them through you is to doubt the work of Jesus on the cross." I think I agree. But the implications of that are serious and take me a minute to wrap my mind around.

The thing I like about Robby and the thing that I think gives him authority, is that when he speaks he speaks about his own experiences of witnessing God's power. He's quick to clarify that God is the one healing people and that he has prayed for plenty of people and continues to pray for people and sometimes nothing happens. I'm glad he tells those because I can identify with that. But he's also got thousands of stories of incredible wonders of God and people who were complete strangers to Jesus being overwhelmed by His love and turning to Him for salvation and becoming His disciples. I want my life to be filled with stories like that.

But what I'm a little more interested in for the purposes of this post is the contrast and comparison of these two public figures who are "famous" in their own circles, and how known and un-known they are to people. The truth of this bummer-Scripture from Ecclesiastes really hits me:

"There is no remembrance of former things,
    nor will there be any remembrance
of later things yet to be
    among those who come after."

Also this:

As for man, his days are like grass;
    he flourishes like a flower of the field;
for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
    and its place knows it no more.

Do we ever really get to know people? And for how long before they change? Are famous people really known and loved by their fans? Will anyone remember me when I'm dead? If they do, how will they remember me? Will they remember me or just an idea that vaguely resembles something I said once?

Yeah, that's probably a totally random association to have with those experiences with "famous" people, but it kind of hits me. Why does Patti Smith get an award and Robby Dawkins doesn't? Why don't I know who Patti Smith is? It seems like a little bit of random nonsense. Which is what fame is--totally random nonsense. That's what those bummer Bible verses in Ecclesiastes are about.

But being known and loved, that's something that everyone wants. That's something that everyone who longs to be alive and not merely breathing needs.

In a new environment I feel it more than I used to--the time and effort it takes to teach people who you are and to learn who they are. It just takes time. And there's no guarantee that our personal tastes will be suited to one another the deeper we go.

That's why I weep for joy a little bit when someone speaks God's words to me with a kind of knowledge and intimacy that could only come from an omniscient God who can peek into my soul and tell me words that will give me life in a way that I uniquely need and that God can uniquely give. I'm so thankful for communities of people who are learning to be instruments of that kind of holy ministry of God. I want us to do that for each other and for everyone who hasn't met Jesus yet.

There are so many people who have no idea how God knows and loves them.

How can we not do something about that?

Goeke Story - "Feel Sorry for THAT Girl!" | Kara

On Friday we thought we'd tell our stories - just like, get to know us better.  ...  Yeah - blogs sometimes feel like self-aggrandizement. Oh well.

Josh and I both attended Missouri State University (it was Southwest Missouri State University at the time, but then I spent a semester as a legislative intern with my State Senator and got the name changed - you are welcome, Missouri State!). We also both lived in Scholars House - a smaller-than-most residence hall that you had to keep a certain GPA to get in and stay in. We barely met as freshman.  In fact, the first first time we spoke to each other, Josh was talking to this other guy at Campus Crusade for Christ, and I piped in, "I love Waterdeep!" Josh completely ignore me. Completely. Like I didn't exist. It was awful being a freshman. :( In Josh's defense - he doesn't remember this at all. Plus - Bolt helps me get revenge every time he wakes up at 3am when Mommy has to work the next day so Daddy has to get up! Bwaahahahah!

The real story starts when we were sophomores, and it starts with Josh walking into my suite and asking for a back rub.  No joke. Doesn't that sound so sleazy???

But, I'd given a backrub to my former suitemate, Becky Fredman - and she recommended me to Josh, who definitely did wander in while I was sitting around with my suitemates (doors open - best way to make new friends, and find a husband!) and said, "Are you Kara? Becky said you give really good back rubs? I'm Josh Goeke." My first though, quite literally was: "Goeke? What a dumb last name. Don't know who this guy is going to marry, but I sure feel sorry for THAT girl!"

And thus, it began. Actually - that's not really when it began. First Josh dated someone else, then I kinda dated someone else to get back at Josh, THEN when we were juniors, we actually started dating. "Dating" may be a strong word to use here.  On the second or third date, Josh says to me: "So - I'm not going to kiss you unless we get married." I'd never been told something like this before. You must understand, dear readers, I was a very kissable girl - maybe I can find some pictures of my young, beautiful self and include them sometime. I mean, I had a fan club (sure - half of it was comprised of drooling nerds, but half of it were totally respectable catches, and they all loved me!)! Not going to kiss me indeed.... didn't he know how lucky he was that I was dating him?

Well anyway, so we didn't kiss each other until our wedding day (before you get really impressed with our chastity, we'd both kissed other people before we started dating, so it wasn't like, first first kiss on the wedding day - just first kiss together). We also didn't say, "I love you" until we got engaged (really I wanted to be even, so I claimed that a lot of guys manipulated girls by saying "I love you" when they didn't mean it - so that was my rule; in retrospect, girls, this is GENIUS b/c it means you are desperately hoping he's about to say he loves you - and if he DOES say it, it's proof he doesn't, b/c you asked him not to say it, and if he can't handle that request, do you really want to keep dating him????). All this meant that instead we said, "I like you a lot" a lot. I had it engraved on the inside of Josh's wedding ring, to remember always how loving another person sometimes means you hold back b/c you care more about protecting their heart than you do about expressing your own.

We also worked hard to keep our lives kind of separate. I knew couples in college who would eat three meals a day together, and if they weren't in class or asleep, they were together. I'm not trying to judge those couples - but we both felt like conducting one's relationship that way lead to problems (like, when you break up, you have to refigure out how you spend every waking moment - devastating!). So we  x4rttried to go on dates sometimes, we didn't sit together at Chi Alpha stuff (weekly campus ministry); Josh refused to purchase an over-priced meal-plan, so we didn't eat together all too often. Later, I was talking to a friend who was telling me how weird our relationship seemed - I guess a bunch of people never knew if we were still dating, b/c we "never acted like it!"

But we had bigger fish to fry. For one thing - at Chi Alpha, we were both leaders. I led a small group, and I wanted to be available to sit with my girls and pay attention to them - lots of them were freshman and being a freshman sucks (see above). And we wanted to be good examples to the people following us.

The next year, I spent a semester at the University of Northern Colorado. The plan at the time was to establish residency and apply to law school in Colorado, but I felt like God spoke clearly to me that law school wasn't the thing for me. I wasn't out there for very long before I came home to a dorm room filled with flower petals and candles (totally against the rules!) and Josh (surprise) who I thought was 500 miles away. He washed my feet and he had a pretty ring for me and finally FINALLY told me he loved me and asked me to marry him.  I love the surprise proposal. No offense to planners - but I was surprised and I loved it. I said yes. He kissed me on the cheek. It was hot!

We got married in May of 2005 and started dreaming about church planting and taking steps to make that a reality (going through Vineyard Leadership Institute, learning how to preach, learning how to deal with each other - that one took a while, since we married each other to torture each other*).

I don't suppose ours is the most dramatic or surprising love story, but it's ours, which is more than enough.

And now, every time someone asks my name, I have to say "Goeke, it looks like GO-eh-kee, that's g-O-e-k-e. ... Yeah - when I met my husband the first time, I though - dumb last name. Feel sorry for THAT girl. ... Turns out that girl is me." ... Though I don't feel sorry for her at all. She knew what she was getting into. ;)



*Best marriage advice ever: When you are mad at your spouse over anything - let's say she didn't pre-soak the dishes, here's what you do: follow your emotions back to their logical conclusion. It goes like this, "Suzy! You didn't presoak the dishes! Now this glob of ketchup has become a petrified ketchup fossil and is chemically bonded to the plate!!! I'll NEVER get this ketchup off! I KNOW you did this on purpose! I know it! I know that THIS HAS BEEN YOUR PLAN ALL ALONG, HASN'T IT???? We met in college - I thought our eyes just met magically across the room, but really, you had already researched my personal history and you decided that you HATED me and so you hatched this evil plot in which you would trick me into falling in love with you and marrying you and then you'd wait - your own sleeper cell of one - and today is the day you enact your plot to ruin my life by leaving the dishes un-pre-soaked so my day would suck! You're loving every minute of this! You married me to torture me! You planned this all out! What's next? Are you going to put the wet laundry into the drier and then NOT TURN IT ON!?!?!?!"
By this time, hopefully you are both laughing (it's hard to get through all that with a straight face), and the one who is over-reacting can apologize for the over-reaction and the other one can apologize for the non-pre-soaking offense, and you can giggle and get over it.  We're black belts at this - and can go from pre-fight to an off-hand "you know I married you to torture you" comment, and then we're fine. Josh married me to torture me. I married him to torture him. Best way to diffuse a fight, ever. And we would know. We're experts!

Book Review Thursday - Compassion | Josh

I think Compassion: A Reflection on the Christian Life by Henri Nouwen, Donald P. Mcneill, Douglas A. Morrison is one of the best books on what it means to follow Jesus that has ever been penned.

I probably have a skewed view. It's because reading this book was a staff requirement the summer I worked for a home repair ministry in Appalachian Tennessee, sleeping under the stars in state parks, and doing home repair projects with youth groups during the day. We went through a 6-day devotional with the kids that blended relevant Scripture and material from the book, and in that environment there was plenty of opportunity to practice the idea and concept of compassion with youth, homeowners, & staff. And I got to see God change a lot of people's lives, my own included.

I was fortunate enough to spend most of that summer working on one really messed up house of a guy with some severe health problems. Week by week, the house got a little more livable and the guy's health improved a little too. When we started, the situation looked pretty hopeless, but after a new roof, a drainage ditch, new flooring, paint on the walls, all in about 9 weeks of work, it was a complete transformation. It wasn't quite on the scale or budget of Extreme Makeover, because we were working with the budget and labor skills of teenagers and what their youth groups raised to bring on the trips, but it was about as close to that show as anything I've ever experienced. What surprised me most though, was how much getting to know the homeowners taught me. So when I returned the next summer as a regional manager, and Kara came to visit, I made sure to introduce her to Barry & Gloria. They awkwardly gave us their blessing to get married before I had proposed.

So, I have some nostalgia for this time of deep personal growth that happened while I was reading this book, hence my enthusiasm. But to this day, whenever I read the words of this book I am struck to the heart and want to be a better man, or perhaps I should say more like Jesus.

For people who are interested in learning to live like Jesus and be his disciples, I strongly recommend this book, especially for those interested in this new expression of the Body of Christ that seems to be coming into existence in Philadelphia. The three authors really take time to meditate and consider what it means to follow a Compassionate God. The whole book is really centered around one of my favorite passages from the Bible.

If this is the kind of God we serve, what does it mean to bear his image? What does it mean to imitate Christ? What does it mean to be human in this way?

Perhaps rather abstract concepts, but I find them to be deeply moving and motivating.

Also, I have found reading this book to be very helpful inoculation against greed, pride, and avarice. Whenever I'm tempted to build myself up at the expense of others, concepts I learned from this book come to mind and I at least have to pause and choose to be a jerk rather than wandering into it blindly and as a matter of course. Reading this book helps me check my motives over and over.

Here's a good excerpt:

But what about the cures? Did not the blind see, the lepers become pure, the paralyzed walk again, and the widow see her son come back to life? Is that not what counts? Is that not what proves that God is God and he really loves us? Let us be very careful with our pragmatism. It was out of his compassion that Jesus' healing emerged. He did not cure to prove, to impress, or to convince. His cures were the natural expression of his being our God. The mystery of God's love is not that he takes our pains away, but that he first wants to share them with us. Out of this divine solidarity comes new life. Jesus' being moved in the center of his being by human pain is indeed a movement toward new life. God is our God, the God of the living. In his divine womb life is always born again. The great mystery is not the cures, but the infinite compassion that is their source.

In a culture obsessed with technique and personality, this book emphasizes the necessity to have the character of Christ residing in our hearts. There are all kinds of causes and programs and things to do, but this book focuses on the why and it does it in a spiritually deep way that is accessible and Christ-centered. It does a great job of presenting a balanced view of the Gospel and its inherent call to discipleship. If you take the time to read this book along with the Scripture it quotes, the truth of Jesus' amazing, sacrificial love is bound to scrub out your heart and make it bleed for people in your life who are hurting. At least, that's what it does for me.

A Few Little Things | Kara

So on Wednesdays and Saturdays Josh and I plan to just report in on what's up in our lives.  We'll try to be deep or interesting or informative all the rest of the days - we promise!

My life is... different. That's the best adjective I've got right now. I count four major life transitions that I've made all at once over the past six months - new city, new job, new role at home (I work full-time... what?), new role in church (Church Planter! as opposed to Wannabe-Church Planter). And these transitions follow closely on the heels of the transition to motherhood - which is a big one. Oh - and right before that my best friend's husband (who was also a very close friend of mine, but the defining relationship is that with my best friend) died.

All of that adds up to a very different-looking life.

I work a lot and apologize to my husband about needing to "stay late at the office" instead of being the forgiving spouse on the phone who says, "I completely understand. You're doing a great job!"

And I get updates from Josh about Bolt's new signs (he just learned "all done" recently - SO FREAKIN' CUTE!) and word attempts (Mommy says "up up up!" and Bolt says, "ud ud ud!") instead of giving the updates to Josh.

I ride a subway, and pay metered parking, and I even parallel park!

I read Dr. Seuss almost every day. Josh asked if I was trying to teach Bolt a political science lesson by reading the Cat from Cat in the Hat with a British accent ("I like to be here - I do not wish to go!") and the Fish with an Indian accent ("Get out of this house! We do NOT wish to play!"). I said, no, just those are the two accents I'm good at.

But all of these are pretty superficial examples of how my life is different - differences that are evident on the outside. Inside is the real difference though. The responsibility of motherhood and trying to plant a church and making an income upon which my family relies - it's heavy. Not bad heavy. Just - I'm not automatically good at all of it without trying, you know? I hope it doesn't sound proud, but natural talent carried me longer in life than maybe it should have. Which - seems more like a shame than a boast, since what I'm saying is, "It took me longer than I think is healthy to have to work for what I have."

And even now, I haven't earned my life. Bolt is a gift from God. No way we deserve any of the amazing people who are committing/thinking about committing to helping us start a church. Working at the Vineyard in West Philly has opened doors, gives me a place to preach (I'm preaching on Sunday, btw), and has helped me make a lot of friends faster than I could have without the job. Oh - and have I mentioned that I really enjoy my job and that I have a great boss? Yeah - so see? Even now - even with a lot of things for which I am responsible, I still mostly spend my time as Receiver of Gifts.

The gifts are different, but also better.  I mean - if all this crazy stuff comes together, this is the season in my life in which a lot of things got started.  Hopefully, 20 years from now I'll be the mother of a brave young man setting out on his own with big things to do and a healthy community of worshipers that has birthed other healthy communities of worshipers and that has seen thousands of people miraculously healed, many of whom met Jesus for the first time and were changed forever and proceeded to change the world forever.

You know - just a few little things I hope will happen. :)

Too Cool Tuesday: The Italian Market | Josh

Turns out cardboard boxes are good for staying warm.

Tuesdays we'll be highlighting stuff in the city we love, and that frankly, is probably too cool for us. Like, we are unworthy of the awesomeness of this city. But, by the grace of God we get to live here. And so far, we love it. And the more we get to know the city, the more we love it. Even the rough parts.

Today I went with my neighbor, who must be just about the best neighbor in the world, to the Italian Market. I love going there with my neighbor, because he knows it pretty well and I can ask him questions instead of outing myself as a complete stranger to this wonderful foreign land. It's nice to have a guide.

While we live walking distance from a Superfresh grocery store, and I note the irony that I drive to an outdoor market to walk around to the various fruit & vegetable stands selling basically the same thing the grocery store has, you really can't beat the price. Or for this extrovert, the experience. When's the last time you bought a whole pineapple for $1? Or how about two pints of blueberries for a buck? Pretty proud of that one today. Unlike the grocery store, you have to talk to a human being. You have to pay cash. It's likely that you'll bump into several people, (and maybe even some live poultry), and that person will not look or dress the same as you. It's also likely that the someone you talk to will not be a native English speaker. It's a diverse, busy, alive, earthy, wonderful place to find the full spectrum of stuff you might want to cook with, everything from goat, pheasant, pig feet, sea food, fancy cheese, fresh produce, flowers, Philadelphia sports-wear, underwear, you name it.  It's also the oldest, still functioning outdoor market in America.


What it's not: it is not a farmer's market. Nothing is advertised as "organic," because it's not. It's not a place to get boxed frozen dinners or canned goods or anything in that vein. But for the experience and the diversity of offerings and the price, there's no place like it on earth. And I can get there faster than I could drive to the grocery store in Springfield.

I can't believe I get to live here.

Big Idea Monday: Faith | Josh

I love how my wife comes up with things like "big idea monday" and "prayer sunday" and such like. Marrying a genius for the win!

There's a lot of discussion these days, within and without of Christian faith communities and other faith communities about the value of religion in society. And I have to say that I agree with most if not all of the critical things said about "religion."

I don't know anyone who says, "You know what the world needs more of? Religion. If people would just hold more tightly to their un-scientifically-verifiable beliefs the world would be a better place." Even as a church planter with a lot of friends who are pastors and missionaries and various religious professionals, I don't know a single person who wants to be known as "religious," or feels being more religious would help them in any way. In my experience, no one wants to be religious, myself included. Of course, that doesn't mean that I am not actually religious or that everyone in the world is any less religious by nature for all of the wanting to not be.

Did you know you're going to die?

Seriously. You might think about it every now and then.

I've been having some great conversations with some new friends about some deep, important stuff. Difficult or joy-filled experiences, the meaning of life, unexpected suffering, God, sex, beer, you name it. It's been a fantastic few days of getting to know some new, amazing people, trying to read between the lines and figure out what makes them tick. Why do they get up in the morning and keep trying to live? Not just merely breathe, but really live. Where do they find joy, and where do I find it? Can we learn something from each other?

It's such a tender, touchy thing, faith. It's always personal and it's always dear. It's wise to tread lightly, and to seek to understand before seeking to be understood. It's why people get up in the morning and keep going. It's why people stay married or get divorced or join the military or protest legislation or abstain from their desires or experiment with drugs or write blogs every day. And it is never scientifically verifiable. And everyone is more than a little insecure about that.

Faith is what you're betting your life on. And make no mistake, you are betting your life on something.

If you're honest, you know that you have no way to know with laboratory tested, sterile certainty that the way you are spending your life and the trajectory you are on is really going to give you the outcome you want, and there is no system that can prevent the one outcome that is certain.

So what are you betting your life on?

Hopefully you've put some thought into this. Hopefully you're using your brain. I mean, no one wants to waste their life on a fantasy. We need to live in the real reality. We ought to use science to make some kind of determination.

But it seems like all kinds of scientists in all kinds of different fields have all kinds of different reasons for doing what they do every day. A lot of people seem to have mystical or supernatural experiences, but they're no better than the scientists.

Do you just decide to forget the question and get back to work, or play, or whatever it is you're into that feels like a good distraction? Do you really think that will work?

Some people have given up the hope of living and settled for breathing, or maybe are too scared to try to live and too scared to stop breathing. But is it really better to just keep breathing and not pursue the hopes and dreams that are written into the nature of your soul (if you really have one)?

My purpose is not to just ask a lot of silly questions, but hopefully to demonstrate the necessity of faith in order to live. It is an unavoidable part of being human, despite what some people might want you to believe.

So what are you betting your life on?

I'm at least trying to bet my life on the Person who heals people everywhere He goes, infuriates the know-it-all religious authorities, brings together people of every language and color and quality, and who after dying came back to life to live forever, and who claims the power and authority to judge the living and the dead. I think that He might be on to something.

But by all means, do whatever seems best to you. It is after all, your life. Are you who you want to be?

Prayer Sunday - It's Not Narnia, You Know? | Kara

Each Sunday, we'll devote our bloggy-time together to pray for our church, our neighborhood, our city, the world - and most of all, for God's Kingdom to come.

Would you take a minute and pray for our church plant?

As I consider the kind of church we want, the vision, our mission, lots of Christian buzzwords to toss into this mix, I find myself returning to C.S. Lewis's The Voyage of the Dawn Treader.

Aslan (the lion who, in this allegory, is Jesus) tells Lucy she won't be returning to Narnia (this magical land where Aslan lives), which makes Lucy very sad:

“It isn't Narnia, you know," sobbed Lucy. "It's you. We shan't meet you there. And how can we live, never meeting you?"


Aslan goes on to say beautiful and comforting things about how He is present in Lucy's land too, and that He'll always be telling her about Himself. It's lovely.

But the part I like best is just this part - it's not Narnia, it's Aslan. It's not a good life, free of pain and grief, full of joy and wonder. It's Jesus. And all the good things that we experience - great church services for instance, or alleviating the suffering of others, or good night kisses from toddlers who don't really know how to kiss yet but know it has to do with putting their mouth on your cheek at bedtime - all that stuff is just a taste of the goodness of God.

So here's my prayer:
God - would you root our church plant (see what I did there, God? Hahah - I know how you like puns in prayer!) in Your goodness. Protect us from getting distracted - instead, give us laser focus, empower us to look at You, to see You, to see what You're up to, and to participate in that. There are many noble causes, many worthy pursuits - but keep us always, always close to You, always paying attention to You.
God, I want our church to get some seriously good stuff accomplished - I want to feed hungry people; I was us to serve and pray and worship together in community; I want to fight human trafficking until it's dead; I want to be crazy-go-nuts for kids, like I want us to spend most of what we have loving kids and showing them that You love them, and providing for their physical needs and their emotional needs and their spiritual needs. I don't think we can do any of that very well unless we are right in step with You, hearing from You, being directed by You, being encouraged by You.
God - breathe life into our lives and send us and spend us how You want. Because it's not Narnia - it's not a safe or happy or satisfying environment - those things are just the things that happen naturally when we are in Your presence. Lord, bless us with Your presence. Be with us and go before us, show us the way to follow You. Bring Your Kingdom.
Amen.

Everyone is invited to also share prayers in the comments! Happy Sunday!

Applying for Jobs Sucks. | Josh

Justify your existence on paper please.

I am terrible at this. And my work history, while fairly consistent, is not the most amazing thing ever. 5 years at a restaurant, 3 years as a video game tester, 2 years as an small business owner of a window-washing company, always with two part-time jobs so we could pour our spare time into the life of an awesome church that couldn't afford to pay us. If anyone actually checks those references, I'm pretty sure I'll get glowing reviews. One amazing regular customer couple at the restaurant I worked at wrote me a check for $200 on my last day, which was so kind and unnecessary. And I'd like to think I made some kind of impression on them. But getting people to pay attention to some nut-job from Missouri who's kind of a wannabe pastor? Easier said than done.

There's one question that really grinds my gears when applying for a job at a coffee shop, "Do you have any experience as a barista?" 

I want to get defensive and say, "Do you have any experience starting a small business from scratch, making your investment back in 9 months, building it to a steady, growing, expanding business worth selling, selling it, and moving across the country to a city where you don't know anyone to plant a church? Do you have any experience coordinating a home-repair ministry in a 3 county area of Appalachia staffed completely by high-school aged volunteers? Have you ever set up a rappelling system and hung off the side of a 10 story building in order to swing back and forth with a squeegee in your hand? Did you graduate magna cum laude? I THINK I CAN HANDLE THE ESPRESSO MACHINE."

But that's not the sort of social savvy a coffee shop proprietor is looking to hire as her hospitable employee.

Every job I've ever worked at I've landed because of a personal connection, including the very seasonal and inconsistent part-time job I have now. And moving to a city with a 10% unemployment rate where we don't know anyone was not the best way to ensure our financial stability. When we were driving the U-Haul away from Springfield, MO to stay with my ever-so-kind in-laws for the month in between our old apartment lease and our new lease, it suddenly dawned on me, "I am unemployed ... and homeless (technically)." It was a risk we were willing to take because we believe it is what Jesus led us to do. And due to support from friends and family and God's unexplainable provision, we have had what we needed. More than that, we've been blessed. The plan was for me to come out to Philly first and get a job. Kara got a great job instead. So I stayed home with the baby. It has been an adjustment, but one that was really good for my soul. And I've been blessed through this process.

I never thought that I would be a stay-at-home dad. It's been surprisingly healing. I'm used to working 50 + hours/week, and doing a good job at what I do. I'm used to having an identity as a good, hard worker, a provider for my household, a competent employee. Over the years I've struggled to keep work from becoming a more important priority than my family or my God.

I have had to learn that my identity can not be dependent on what I do, the things I accomplish, my job performance, or the amount of money I make. I have been confronted with how much I had let my success in those areas define and drive me to an unhealthy and unsustainable lifestyle. Pastors, generally speaking, do not do a great job of challenging this cultural phenomenon of worshiping work. So God forced me to take a vacation.

I've come to see these last few months as a sort of forced rehab for this would-be workaholic. I have been forced to spend time with my son and rest and do a lot of nothing. And I'm not sure that planning this kind of time off would have given me the emotional freedom to enjoy it in my previous state. It's like God knew that I couldn't enjoy the time unless it were more or less forced upon me and I wasn't responsible for choosing it. But as I've confessed my sin and have begun to learn to accept the unconditional love of my Father, I have experienced a whole new side of life and a whole new side of my self that is so much more enjoyable than I thought either could be. As I spend time with my toddler and just enjoy him, wonderful and largely helpless as he is, I understand God's love for me in a way that I simply couldn't if I was employed the way I'm used to being employed. I also have seen that what a lot of moms do is a legitimate way to spend a life all its own, and it is hard work sometimes, even if it doesn't bring home the bacon. I really don't know how single parents do it.

Getting rejected at a bunch of jobs that I'm totally qualified for (and a few that I'm not) has been another step in the process. Although, one I wouldn't have been ready for without a lot of grace from Jesus on the preparation end. It's just another reminder from God: "You are not your job. I love you no matter what. I died to prove it."

Important preparation for life as a pastor.

Now if I can just land that ideal part-time job at a coffee shop or restaurant that every church-planter dreams of...

God Speaks... (or we're completely crazy.) | Kara

We are often asked, "How did you decide to plant a church in Philadelphia?" I've told this story before - but in case you haven't heard it:

Josh and I both knew we were called to professional ministry since before we were married, and our home/our tribe/our people is the Vineyard, and church-planting always felt right. It makes sense with our gifts and our personalities. Plus, we think it's the most effective way to do the most important thing - and we feel like our place in this noble cause is calling others to follow us as we follow Christ.

But why Philadelphia?

Since we knew we were called to planting, but we didn't know where, we were counseled to find a place we liked full of people we liked.  So we started going places. At the National Conference in 2007, this person made the following announcement: "If you know you are called to church planting, but you don't know where, come have lunch with us!" That was exactly the way we'd be talking about it - we know we're called to planting, we don't know where.  Plus, free lunch! (Or so we thought - it only cost us our hearts - that we have gladly handed over to the city - and inspired the riskiest financial adventure of our lives.)

We show up to lunch hosted by a motley crew all wearing tee-shirts that asked, "Why Philly?" Their answer was that this city is awesome - their leader, Mark Tindall, was probably the most enthusiastic person we'd ever met. Lunch was great, and we were invited to come out to a "Why Philly? Week-end" in which the pastors in the City of Brotherly Love would put us up, feed us, show us around, and join us in dreaming about what God might be up to in this beautiful and ancient city!

(Okay - "ancient" might be a stretch - but have you ever heard the Eddie Izzard joke about how Europeans mock Americans b/c we say we're going to remodel something to make it look JUST like it looked FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFTYYYYYY  YEEEEEEAAAAAARS AGOOOOOOOOOOO! - Well, our hometown did that. Literally. Spent tens of thousands restoring the city square to is original design - from 1970. So see? It's all perspective.)

We came out for the week-end and had a great time!

When we went home, we tried to calm ourselves down about the whole thing. I mean - Brad, Becca, Jerry, & Justin won't be coming to our church if we planted in Philly ... they already have churches to go to. We tried to fight the "high". We failed. We visited other places and nothing measured up, nothing clicked.

Then - in September of 2008, everything changed. One of our closest friends was diagnosed with leukemia. What would Jesus do? Tell his friend to tough it out and then leave to plant a church? Seems unlikely. So we waited, and we walked through cancer with them as best we could, and we learned a lot about friendship and love and the brokenness of the world.

A year later, that friend - Nathan - was with us at a prayer training. The training included a time to listen to God and everyone shares anything they thought of - no one gets a pass on sharing. It's an exercise to help us all over the huge hurdle of "is it God? or is it just me?" by answering "Who cares? Just try and we'll see." First - our friend Ty shares the he, "saw a Phillies hat." He didn't know we were thinking about planting in Philly, in fact, he didn't want to share the picture. For months after the fact he would still say that he didn't really think that he had heard from God. We're pretty sure he did. (And we bought him one of those hats! Looks great on him!) I think he might finally share our point of view. :)

Then Nathan shared - he said he saw an image of roller skates - white ones with pink wheels. I had a pair of roller skates like that when I was little (although, the lining was also pink, so I could only say that they were "similar" to what Nathan described). Nathan, an experienced and confident listener said he felt God was sharing this picture to convey the idea of a dream, once a cherished pasttime, that has been shoved in the back of the closet, and that it's time to pull out that dream again.

This was too much for me and Josh - we felt strongly that these images were for us and that we were supposed to dust off our old dream and start pursuing planting a church in Philadelphia.

A few months later, Nathan passed away - 2 days before his 26th birthday. The second anniversary of it was this last Tuesday, January 29th.  Around that time we also discovered we were pregnant, and life turned into a whirlwind - walking through the transition to widowhood with Nathan's wife (my best friend) Renee; getting ready to have a baby - named Bolt Nathan Goeke; getting our church plant application in; actually having the baby; asking God to tell us if it was Philly for sure; and coming out here for our Assessment - at which time, God did tell us, for sure, it's Philadelphia.

We moved here in September of 2012, and we get evidence all the time of how God is providing for us. Our best Philly moment happened on Wednesday. In preparation for our first ever Church Plant Vision/Prayer Meeting, Josh went to the location of the meeting to take a picture of it for the facebook invite. Across the street where our friend Megan lives - and where we were going to provide childcare for the meeting - guess what was sitting on the stoop?

White rollerskates. With pink wheels.