Applying for Jobs Sucks. | Josh

Justify your existence on paper please.

I am terrible at this. And my work history, while fairly consistent, is not the most amazing thing ever. 5 years at a restaurant, 3 years as a video game tester, 2 years as an small business owner of a window-washing company, always with two part-time jobs so we could pour our spare time into the life of an awesome church that couldn't afford to pay us. If anyone actually checks those references, I'm pretty sure I'll get glowing reviews. One amazing regular customer couple at the restaurant I worked at wrote me a check for $200 on my last day, which was so kind and unnecessary. And I'd like to think I made some kind of impression on them. But getting people to pay attention to some nut-job from Missouri who's kind of a wannabe pastor? Easier said than done.

There's one question that really grinds my gears when applying for a job at a coffee shop, "Do you have any experience as a barista?" 

I want to get defensive and say, "Do you have any experience starting a small business from scratch, making your investment back in 9 months, building it to a steady, growing, expanding business worth selling, selling it, and moving across the country to a city where you don't know anyone to plant a church? Do you have any experience coordinating a home-repair ministry in a 3 county area of Appalachia staffed completely by high-school aged volunteers? Have you ever set up a rappelling system and hung off the side of a 10 story building in order to swing back and forth with a squeegee in your hand? Did you graduate magna cum laude? I THINK I CAN HANDLE THE ESPRESSO MACHINE."

But that's not the sort of social savvy a coffee shop proprietor is looking to hire as her hospitable employee.

Every job I've ever worked at I've landed because of a personal connection, including the very seasonal and inconsistent part-time job I have now. And moving to a city with a 10% unemployment rate where we don't know anyone was not the best way to ensure our financial stability. When we were driving the U-Haul away from Springfield, MO to stay with my ever-so-kind in-laws for the month in between our old apartment lease and our new lease, it suddenly dawned on me, "I am unemployed ... and homeless (technically)." It was a risk we were willing to take because we believe it is what Jesus led us to do. And due to support from friends and family and God's unexplainable provision, we have had what we needed. More than that, we've been blessed. The plan was for me to come out to Philly first and get a job. Kara got a great job instead. So I stayed home with the baby. It has been an adjustment, but one that was really good for my soul. And I've been blessed through this process.

I never thought that I would be a stay-at-home dad. It's been surprisingly healing. I'm used to working 50 + hours/week, and doing a good job at what I do. I'm used to having an identity as a good, hard worker, a provider for my household, a competent employee. Over the years I've struggled to keep work from becoming a more important priority than my family or my God.

I have had to learn that my identity can not be dependent on what I do, the things I accomplish, my job performance, or the amount of money I make. I have been confronted with how much I had let my success in those areas define and drive me to an unhealthy and unsustainable lifestyle. Pastors, generally speaking, do not do a great job of challenging this cultural phenomenon of worshiping work. So God forced me to take a vacation.

I've come to see these last few months as a sort of forced rehab for this would-be workaholic. I have been forced to spend time with my son and rest and do a lot of nothing. And I'm not sure that planning this kind of time off would have given me the emotional freedom to enjoy it in my previous state. It's like God knew that I couldn't enjoy the time unless it were more or less forced upon me and I wasn't responsible for choosing it. But as I've confessed my sin and have begun to learn to accept the unconditional love of my Father, I have experienced a whole new side of life and a whole new side of my self that is so much more enjoyable than I thought either could be. As I spend time with my toddler and just enjoy him, wonderful and largely helpless as he is, I understand God's love for me in a way that I simply couldn't if I was employed the way I'm used to being employed. I also have seen that what a lot of moms do is a legitimate way to spend a life all its own, and it is hard work sometimes, even if it doesn't bring home the bacon. I really don't know how single parents do it.

Getting rejected at a bunch of jobs that I'm totally qualified for (and a few that I'm not) has been another step in the process. Although, one I wouldn't have been ready for without a lot of grace from Jesus on the preparation end. It's just another reminder from God: "You are not your job. I love you no matter what. I died to prove it."

Important preparation for life as a pastor.

Now if I can just land that ideal part-time job at a coffee shop or restaurant that every church-planter dreams of...